"Music Therapy is Obviously Not For Everyone": Dealing with Difficult Patients

All week, I've been racking my brain trying to come up with an interesting topic for this week's post, and low and behold, today (at the expense of my monthly supervisor) I stumbled upon a situation that proved to be more than blog-worthy. During my Psychology of Music class at Florida State University, my professor, Dr. Clifford Madsen stated that, "one in thirty people don't like ice-cream, but only one in one-hundred don't like music." Today, I believe we found that one person out of one-hundred people that just isn't a good candidate for music therapy. Dr. Madsen frequently uses the terms "warm-fuzzy" and "dirty brown trading stamp" to describe the positive and negative things people say to one another. Today, my supervisor got a whole slew of dirty brown trading stamps in the course of about five minutes at this patient's house. She handled the situation with such professionalism and ended the session because it was obviously not going to be a therapeutic process for this person. I guess the sad truth is, not everybody is going to benefit from music therapy. They may not like the music, or they may criticize the therapist's musicianship and essentially kick them out of their house because that's one of the only aspects they are still able to control in their lives. Whatever the reason, it is important not to let these people "clap for you" (another Madsenism).  I already know that I am going to have a difficult time not taking these kinds of situations personally when they arise in the future. I am the kind of person who lets too many people clap for me, but I know deep down that not everybody is going to like me or appreciate my music. This brings me to the importance of self-care, something my monthly supervisor has taught me a lot about! Taking time during the day to re-group after events like this is so important not only for the therapist, but for the patient/client. If we don't keep ourselves in check and grounded, we can not possibly help others. Ways to regroup after a difficult session include:

1. Listening to some "therapist-preferred music."

2. Treating yourself to a quick and yummy snack (although it's not always healthy to eat your feelings, sometimes it's just plain necessary!)

3. Taking some deep breaths.

4. Reading a inspirational quote or poem (I am learning that I should probably keep a book of these in my car for days like this).

5. Performing a quick progressive muscle relaxation. 

6. Think about all of the positive sessions you've had that day (or week) and remind yourself that you are doing something wonderful and that "music therapy is obviously not for everyone." :)