In the past few weeks, I have encountered quite a few situations in which patients have openly asked me extremely personal questions regarding my religious beliefs. I have found that in these situations, I tend to experience a brief loss of cognitive function and become unable to think of appropriate responses. For example, a patient I have been working with for a while now specifically asked me in a session the other day if I had accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior. I was so stunned by this question that all I could do was smile and stare at her. I might have even nodded, which goes to show just how completely dumbfounded I really was (I am Jewish, for those of you who don't know me). Luckily, my supervisor was there during this session and answered "yes" for herself and the patient let my noncommittal answer slide. However, this made me think about what I should say in the future when I get asked this question or others like it. I've spoken with my supervisors about what is appropriate to say and have come to the following conclusion. From now on when I am asked about my religious beliefs, although it may not be the response they want to hear, I am going to be honest and inform them that I am Jewish and redirect the conversation as soon as possible back to them, and inquire more about their beliefs instead of focusing on my own. At first, I was hesitant to divulge such personal information about myself to my patients; however, the more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I felt about leaving the question unanswered or responding untruthfully. Of course, if I believe that the therapeutic relationship could possibly be ruined by me admitting my religious beliefs, I might have to rethink this response, but for now, I am going to attempt to avoid becoming a deer in headlights every time I am asked such personal questions.
One thing you might try is saying something like, "well, that's a really interesting question" and then inviting the person to explore what it would mean if you were to say "yes" and what it would mean if you were to say "no". Ultimately, you want to try to understand what role this person's faith has in his/her life. Since you seem to be doing your internship in a hospice setting, I imagine spirituality can often be a big part of the dying process.
ReplyDeleteSometimes our clients do want to know about us (because it's easier than talking about themselves) (behold the power of resistance), but I think a lot of times they aren't sure how to bring up a difficult/personal subject and may just try to start the conversation the same way they would in a social situation.
Figuring out what to say in situations like this is hard, even for people who've been music therapists for a long time.
Thank you for the feedback, Roia! I really like that idea and will definitely try to use that in the future!
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